The best father’s day idea yet!
Where there is a child there is a father
One can’t always rely on the truth of a cliché, even if it has come into idiomatic over-use because popular mythology buys into it. I mean, “there can’t be smoke without fire” seems logical until you find out there can. Magicians have escaped in a plume of smoke, and princesses become swans on a foggy stage and one never finds the source – fire and lakes and suchlike realities. Maybe magic exists, really, really.
Donald Duck presents: “SCIENCE !”
Or perhaps hydrogen peroxide and potassium permanganate can create a smokescreen or a mist of oblivion. Science dictates that every child has a father, although society is finding that they disappear magically.
But let’s face it: Very few of the mothers of the children running around without any visible fathers, had artificial insemination, claim a case of immaculate conception or wind pollination; most children that seldom see their fathers were created by the usual channels, as it were. Somewhere is a sperm donor, even if he cannot be graced with the name “Father”. After all, being a father is a difficult task. Any old hairy, scaly, slimy or winged male of the living world (plant and animal) can impregnate a female. It does not require rocket science level intelligence. Not only brain surgeons beget offspring. But behaving as a farther should is an entirely different matter.
So, here’s an idea for father’s day
Will all those absentee dads come out of the woodwork or pub or new relationship or sagging sofa in front of the T.V or rugby club or bottom of the beer bottle or any of the places where you hide, please. Appear magically in a puff of smoke and:
- Pay child maintenance
- Bring gifts to all your offspring on Father’s Day 2015
- Tell the mothers of your children to spend the day in bed
- Spend time with your children
- Change the baby’s nappy
- Do the laundry
- Be a good example: Do not smoke, drink-and-drive, eat food that is bad for you, be lazy, disrespectful to women (in fact to anybody else), selfish, uncaring, dishonest, messy, unfaithful, make false promises, tell lies, harm the environment or those that are weaker than you (including your children)
Be a man – Be a father – Be responsible – Be present
Author: Suenel Bruwer Holloway
Suenel Bruwer Holloway lives in the country and does a lot of laundry, walks dogs, gardens and cooks. She also writes. She will opine on any topic, so contact her on firstname.lastname@example.org if you want an opinion piece and are brave enough.