Get away with crime rhymes

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Do you have criminal inclinations? – S.A. beats all other destinations

One does not really feel that the police are combating crime effectively in South Africa, does one? One feels rather sorry for them, too. Many lives of policemen and women have been lost. They have to deal with the consequences of politically appointed leadership, collusion between criminals and their fat cat leaders, corruption in local government positions (millions have gone into private pockets instead of into developing health and housing projects), poverty and frustration, porous borders and previous history … and when finally somebody does get arrested, they are not convicted based on failures in the system or are released due to downright preferential treatment.

One has to laugh … or emigrate – so here goes:

  1. Zuma’s financial adviser, Schabir Shaik

While in prison orders in pizza and cake,

Diabetes and illness he didn’t have to fake

He really was ill from chips and steak.

  1. Omar al-Bashir bombs his fellow Sudanese

Then refuses humanitarian aid if you please

The ICC wants him for crimes and for genocide

South African treats him like a longed for bride.

  1. Shrien Dewani is a clever rich fellow

South African courts will all turn yellow

Need to murder somebody who stands in your way?

South Africa is the place to come and stay.

  1. Oscar Pistorius must have secret means

Ten months after killing the girl of his dreams

He is ready to be free … well relatively

When others for lesser crimes incarcerated will be.

  1. Riah Phiyega shows maturity on her mission

Sending sms messages of charming erudition

Doing the dirty work for political allies it seems

Guarantees one a place in this land of our dreams.

  1. Jackie Selebi’s parole was granted for reasons renal

He took bribes from dealers and all types of criminal

He set the tone for how policing should be done

Of punishment for crime there soon will be none.

  1. Bheki Cele’s wife traffics drug effectively

Police chief wives can operate imperiously

He himself investigated for several charges too

Still walks ‘round spouting wisdoms doubtless true.

Celebrity status can be achieved – all you have to do is be rich enough. How you get all that money is beside the point. Shame is such an out-dated notion. It seems to me that if the crime is rewarding enough (the criminals all seem to live in multi-million mansions) or the media hype loud enough, that you can get away with anything.

Donald Trump plays his cards well

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Donald Trump for President?

In recent weeks Donald Trump has been regularly quoted. In the political debate showcasing the 2016 American presidential election candidates for the Republican Party, his obnoxious statements brought him much attention. So much so, that at this stage of the game public opinion has Trump at the lead of the Good Old Party ahead of Jeb Bush. Listening to Trump speak is like hearing an eccentric uncle vent his outrage at the bumbling nature of politics today. His speeches seem more like ongoing rants than well ordered and thought out strategies for motivating people.

Donald Trump has become notorious for offending women and Mexicans. In his own words he claims that “you don’t want a scripted president,” and “we don’t want a politically correct president.” No, he says, “we’re tired of the nice people.” There are those who say that Donald Trump is but the last vestige of a political system that over the last thirty years has seen presidencies brought out by big lobbyists. Here Trump makes a big statement too, he says; “I’m going to do what is right for the people of the country.” In this context he claims to have turned down billions of dollars from lobbyists in order to prevent them from holding him accountable when he gets to the White House.

Some say that Donald Trump’s popularity is a sign of cynicism among the voting public. Many people were disappointed by the return of their voting investment in current president Obama, who ran on the concept that there CAN be change. People expected that Obama would make an end to the U.S. war activities, but instead, the conflicts in the Middle East have escalated. What this proves is that it is easy to say things and then later turn around and change your mind. Trump may be saying things that people want to hear or getting attention by saying things that people do not want to hear.

Does this make him a good presidential candidate?

Cyber Mayhem Alert!

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Managing mayhem in the Department of Technology and Cyber Stuff

(A short guide to the Gospel of Cyplomacy)

When the gods first ascended Olympus Zeus allocated spheres of influence. Of course, at that time Technology and Cyber Stuff was not a sphere of influence at all. When it became available as a field of influence there were no gods without a portfolio to take over as god of Technology and Cyber Stuff. And so the jostling began for this coveted position. The goddess Athena, goddess of intelligence, skill and wisdom thought that she should be appointed. The god Apollo, god of knowledge and manly beauty, argued that he should be the natural choice. Hades, the god of regret, had a strong argument, saying that humans dabbling in the field of Technology and Cyber Stuff are absolutely guaranteed to experience regret quite often. But Zeus surprised them all.

It was Bacchus that got the coveted new department of Technology and Cyber Stuff. Zeus reckoned that the god of Wine, Parties, Madness, Festivals, Ecstacy and Chaos will be a perfect god for those humans in the field of Tecnology and Cyber Stuff. It actually makes sense: most of them are mad, they drink wine at parties, they are in ecstacy when things go right and they cause chaos in the lives of others. In this way, Bacchus took charge of Technology and Cyber Stuff.

At first Bacchus was elated with his new department. As god of Wine, Madness, Parties, Chaos and Ecstacy he already had a vast number of followers. Followers of Technology and Cyber Stuff were bound to increase his sphere of influence and make him a very serious player in Olympus indeed. Oh yes, he coveted those vast numbers of humans diligently worshipping at the sacred tablets and laptops of Technology and Cyber Stuff. Sadly, he soon became bitterly disillusioned. His dreams just never realized. The reason for this is two-fold: 1)Bacchus simply loved his followers in the Department of Wine, Parties etc. etc. and he spent a lot of time with his congregations (humans call these places of worship pubs). They are such happy congregations; they sing and dance and one can always hear the merry tinkling of ice cubes, boisterous laughing and really, really funny jokes. It is fun worshipping in the Department of Wine, Parties etc. etc. 2) Followers of Technology and Cyber Stuff refused to gather in congregations. They worship in isolation. They are just not fun to be with! All they offered the god was some wayward bits and bytes and, compared with wine, this proved to be a very bitter pill to swallow.

Of course, no god worth his salt can allow his followers to be a disappointment and Bacchus decided to punish the followers of Tecnology and Cyber Stuff. He did this by striking at the very core of these humans’ belief system. He made their servers crash, he scrambled their data and he introduced worms and viruses. He destroyed back-ups and he messed up the Cloud by stirring the ether anti-clock wise. Thus many followers of Technology and Cyber Stuff were struck by despair and sometimes e en by a loss of faith.

Fear not, however, you followers of Technology and Cyber Stuff, for the prophet IT will teach you the gospel of Cyplomacy (Cyber Diplomacy). IT will lead you from the wilderness of crashed servers, wayward routers, frozen screens and missing data. He will deliver you from viruses and worms and he will teach you to safeguard yourself.

The Gospel of Cyplomacy according to the prophet IT

1. Understand and accept the fact that thou shalt not defeat the god Bacchus for he has many followers and he is strong. Instead, thou shalt learn to offer a defense against his mayhem and to undermine his efforts. Thou shalt learn the gospel of Cypplomacy.

2. Thou shalt not allow another human to fiddle with thou Technology and Cyber stuff after worshipping at a temple of the Department of Wine, Parties etc. etc. For verily I say onto you: after worshipping at the temple of Wine, Parties etc. etc. these very humans become the instruments of the vengeful god Bacchus and they shalt crash thou servers, destroy thou routers, spill on thou keyboards and write down thou passwords on the notice board.

3. Thou shalt fool the god Bacchus by pretending to become followers of the Department of Wine, Parties etc. etc. Thou shalt accomplish this by taking thou Technology and Cyber Stuff gadgets to a temple of Wine, Parties etc. etc. and thou shalt worship at the sacred tablets and laptop in such places. Thou shalt make the deceit realistic by partaking in wine, by telling really, really funny jokes and by laughing boisterously. Thus the god Bacchus will be fooled and he will see no reason to crash thou servers and cause other mischief.

Thus spake the prophet IT.

Amen

Is the South African judiciary under attack?

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Why the South African judiciary is under attack (again)

Once again the south African judiciary is under attack. This week, S’dumo Dlamini, president of Cosatu, launched a vicious attack on the judiciary. He says that the judiciary has become a serious threat to the democracy. He is not the only one that thinks that the judiciary should be radically reformed. The Minister of Police, Nathi Nhleko, told his senior staff that the judiciary is harbouring a “sinister” agenda. The Secretary General of the ANC, Gwede Mantashe gleefully joined in the fray saying that the judiciary is interfering with the legislature and the executive. He even coined a phrase to express his opinion: “judiciary over-reach”.

Why is the judiciary under attack?

Well, there is no denying the fact that opposition parties and civil organizations such as Afriforum has been successful in bringing a wide variety of issues to the courts for consideration. Government ministers, heads of departments and many other senior officials have been exposed as corrupt, incompetent, arrogant and as liars. The courts have made several landmark rulings against the government, exposing new legislation as unconstitutional, rulings of the legislature as illegal and decisions of senior officials as invalid. It is only natural that the government is starting to feel as if it is under attack itself.

The president and some of his ministers and officials must think by themselves: “Who would have thought that these judges, the very ones that we appointed, would actually believe that they are independent and that they have the power to censure parliament. My goodness! They have even dragged the president into court! No, no. This will not do. A lapdog is not supposed to bite its master.” And so the ANC resort to their standard response when they feel under threat: they blame the troublesome judiciary of interfering with the freedom of the masses, of threatening the hard-won freedom of the working class and of destabilising the country. Luckily there is an easy solution: we reform the judiciary!

Ordinary South Africans will be well advised to watch this struggle very carefully. If the government succeeds in bringing the judiciary to heel we are in very big trouble. The judiciary is not a lapdog, it is a ferocious guard dog and that is what keeps our democracy safe.